Updated on Jul 20, 2024
Author: Dr. Tony Ebel, DC, CPPFC, CCWP
Revised for Inspire Chiropractic by Davis Madole, Reviewed by Dr. Shah Khan DC, CACCP
If you’re the parent of a child dealing with frequent tantrums, emotional outbursts, aggression, or difficulty regulating their emotions, you know how exhausting it can be.
You may find yourself constantly asking:
Why is this happening?
Why does my child seem so overwhelmed by things that other kids handle easily? Why are transitions so difficult? Why can’t they calm down once they’re upset? And perhaps most importantly — how can I help without simply putting a band-aid over the problem?
You’re not alone in asking these questions.
Behavioral and emotional challenges are common in childhood, and they can have many different contributing factors. Sometimes what looks like “bad behavior” on the outside may actually be a child struggling with stress, sensory input, emotional regulation, sleep, development, or their ability to adapt to what is happening around them.
At Inspire Chiropractic, we believe that understanding the child behind the behavior is an important part of supporting the whole family.
That means looking beyond the behavior itself and considering how a child’s developing nervous system may be responding to the world around them.
Understanding Behavior Issues in Kids
Children communicate through behavior.
A tantrum, meltdown, aggressive reaction, difficulty sitting still, or refusal to follow directions doesn’t automatically mean a child is being defiant or choosing to misbehave.
Some of these behaviors are completely normal at certain stages of development.
For example:
- Toddlers are still developing communication, impulse control, and emotional regulation, making tantrums and meltdowns common.
- Preschoolers are learning how to navigate social situations, frustration, boundaries, and independence.
- School-age children generally develop greater emotional regulation but may still struggle with impulsivity, frustration, transitions, focus, or following directions.
The important question isn’t whether a child ever has a tantrum or emotional outburst.
It’s what happens when those behaviors become persistent, intense, difficult to recover from, or disruptive to everyday life.
When a child is consistently struggling at home, at school, with siblings, or in social situations, it’s worth looking more closely at what may be contributing.
And sometimes, the behavior is only the outward expression of something happening underneath.
The Nervous System and Behavior
The nervous system plays an enormous role in how children respond to their environment.
It helps coordinate movement, attention, sensory processing, emotional responses, sleep, digestion, and the body’s response to stress.
One useful way to understand this is through the autonomic nervous system.
The sympathetic nervous system helps prepare the body to respond to stress. Think of it as the body’s accelerator.
The parasympathetic nervous system helps support rest, recovery, digestion, and regulation. Think of it as the brakes.
We need both.
A healthy nervous system needs to be able to shift between activation and recovery depending on what the situation requires.
But when a child is frequently exposed to stress or has difficulty regulating their physiological response to stress, they may appear to be “stuck” in a heightened state of arousal.
That can make ordinary childhood experiences feel much bigger.
A transition.
A loud room.
A change in plans.
Being told “no.”
A difficult homework assignment.
A sibling taking a toy.
For a child who is already overwhelmed, one more stressor can be enough to push them past their ability to regulate.
The result may look like a tantrum, meltdown, aggression, withdrawal, impulsivity, or emotional outburst.
This doesn’t mean every behavioral challenge is caused by nervous system dysregulation. Children are complex, and behavior can be influenced by development, environment, relationships, learning differences, mental health, sleep, medical conditions, and many other factors.
But the nervous system is an important piece of the bigger picture.
What Can Influence a Child’s Nervous System?
A child’s nervous system is developing continuously from pregnancy through childhood and adolescence.
Many different experiences can influence that development and a child’s ability to respond and adapt to stress.
These may include:
- Prenatal stress and maternal health factors
- Difficult or stressful birth experiences
- Physical injuries and childhood falls
- Chronic stress
- Poor sleep
- Sensory overload
- Environmental stressors
- Emotional or adverse experiences
- Developmental challenges
- Illness and other health factors
None of these automatically means a child will develop behavioral problems.
Rather, they are pieces of a much larger picture.
This is why it’s important to resist the temptation to blame yourself or search for one single cause.
Your child’s struggles are not a reflection of your parenting.
Sometimes a child simply needs more support learning how to regulate, adapt, and recover.
A Child’s Developing Brain
The brain continues developing throughout childhood and adolescence.
Areas involved in emotional regulation, decision-making, impulse control, learning, memory, and stress responses are all developing during these years.
The prefrontal cortex, for example, plays an important role in executive functions such as impulse control, planning, decision-making, and regulation of behavior.
The amygdala is involved in emotional processing and responses to potential threats.
The hippocampus contributes to learning, memory, and regulation of the stress response.
And the cerebellum, while well known for its role in movement and coordination, is also involved in a variety of cognitive and emotional processes.
Chronic stress and adverse experiences can influence the developing brain and stress-response systems.
This is one reason why supporting a child’s ability to regulate stress isn’t simply about teaching them to “behave better.”
It’s about helping them develop the capacity to feel safe, adapt, recover, and respond.
When Behavior Is a Signal, Not the Problem
Imagine a child who becomes extremely upset every time it’s time to leave the house.
From the outside, it might look like defiance.
But what if the transition itself feels overwhelming?
Or consider a child who becomes aggressive when their environment gets loud.
It might look like anger.
But what if their sensory system is overloaded?
Or a child who can’t sit still during homework.
It might look like a lack of discipline.
But what if they’re struggling with attention, fatigue, sensory input, learning, or regulation?
This doesn’t mean parents shouldn’t establish boundaries or expectations.
It means we can hold both truths at the same time:
Children need boundaries and they need support.
Behavior matters.
But so does understanding what may be driving it.
Our Approach: Looking at the Nervous System
At Inspire Chiropractic, our approach is centered around understanding how a child’s nervous system is functioning and adapting.
Neurologically-Focused Chiropractic Care is designed to look beyond a child’s symptoms and assess neurological and physiological patterns that may provide additional context.
Our goal isn’t to label every behavior as a chiropractic problem.
And chiropractic care should never replace appropriate pediatric, psychological, developmental, or medical evaluation when those services are needed.
Instead, we want to understand the whole child and provide another piece of the puzzle when appropriate.
Neurological INSiGHT Scans
One of the tools we may use is our Neurological INSiGHT scanning technology.
These assessments can provide information about patterns involving:
- NeuroThermal activity
- Surface EMG activity
- Heart rate variability (HRV)
These measurements can help us better understand patterns of nervous system function and adaptation.
They are not diagnostic tests and cannot determine the cause of a behavioral or developmental condition.
Instead, they are one part of a broader assessment that helps us understand where a child may need additional support.
Gentle, Neurologically-Focused Care
When appropriate, we use gentle chiropractic techniques with the goal of supporting healthy neurological function and spinal movement.
Our approach is not about forcing a child’s body into alignment or promising to “fix” a behavioral condition.
It’s about creating an environment where the nervous system and body can function as efficiently as possible while the child receives whatever other support they need.
For some families, that may mean chiropractic care alongside pediatric care, occupational therapy, behavioral support, counseling, nutrition, developmental services, or other appropriate interventions.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer for a child.
Supporting Regulation at Home
Professional care is only one piece of the picture.
Parents can also create opportunities for regulation throughout the day.
Simple strategies may include:
Slow breathing:
Encourage slower, calmer breathing during moments of stress rather than demanding that your child immediately “calm down.”
Movement:
Walking, playing outside, jumping, swimming, or other age-appropriate physical activity can give children an opportunity to move and reset.
Predictable routines:
Consistent routines can make transitions easier and reduce unnecessary uncertainty.
Sleep:
Adequate, consistent sleep is foundational for emotional regulation, attention, learning, and overall health.
Co-regulation:
Children often borrow regulation from the adults around them. A calm, connected parent can provide an important sense of safety when a child is overwhelmed.
And perhaps most importantly:
Connection before correction.
When a child is completely overwhelmed, they may not have the capacity to process a lecture about their behavior.
Helping them regulate first can make it much easier to address the behavior afterward.
You Don’t Have to Figure It All Out Alone
If your child’s behavior has become increasingly difficult to understand, please know this:
You are not a bad parent.
And your child is not a bad kid.
Behavior is communication, and sometimes that communication is telling us that a child needs more support than they currently have.
The goal isn’t to find someone to blame.
It’s to understand the child in front of you.
At Inspire Chiropractic, we believe that starts with asking better questions, looking at the whole child, and understanding the important role the nervous system plays in how children experience and respond to the world around them.
If your child is struggling with frequent meltdowns, emotional dysregulation, sensory challenges, difficulty transitioning, or other behavioral concerns, we’d love to help you explore whether a nervous-system-focused assessment may be appropriate.
And if your child is experiencing significant or sudden behavioral, emotional, developmental, or neurological changes, we encourage you to involve your child’s pediatrician or other qualified healthcare professionals as part of that evaluation.
You don’t have to have all the answers before you ask for help.
Sometimes the first step is simply having someone listen, look deeper, and help you understand what your child may be communicating.
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Original Article: https://pxdocs.com/mental-health/tantrums-meltdowns-and-emotional-outbursts/
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SOURCES
- Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. (2022, January). Study Reveals Fourfold Range in Rates of Mental Health Problems Among U.S. Children Based on Relational and Social Risks. Retrieved from [Johns Hopkins Public Health](https://publichealth.jhu.edu/2022/study-reveals-fourfold-range-in-rates-of-mental-health-problems-among-us-children-based-on-relational-and-social-risks)